Broken

Five Minute Friday: Broken

I can finally participate in Five Minute Friday again, as I'm on vacation. Check here to see other writings on this prompt, sponsored by Lisa Jo.

It was during a Maundy Thursday church service, eleven years ago, that I was broken.

         I had been a juror in a murder trial the previous month and was still dealing with the horrific images we saw and testimony we heard.

I sat quietly, listening to the music as I waited for the communion bread to be passed, thanking God for his presence.

         As I sat in the jury box each day of the trial, I could feel the presence of evil in the courtroom. I saw it in the accused man’s eyes. But I also felt God’s protection – surrounding the evil – and encompassing the courtroom.  

I received the bread, ate it, and silently thanked God for his sacrifice for me. And then I was shaken with another thought: Jesus also died for the man in the murder trial. What – really?

         This man was evil. He said and did horrific things and was eventually convicted of murder and sentenced to prison.

How could this be? How could Jesus pay the price for his sins? He was a terrible person. Why? Whether this man accepted Jesus’ gift or not, Jesus still died for him.

And then, with another thought, I was broken. In God’s eyes, my sins are just as bad as this man’s sins. I am just as evil as he is. For the first time, I truly realized the depth of God’s love – for me, for this man, for the world.

Silent tears streamed down my face as I wept in thankfulness, considering my sins and God’s truly wondrous grace.