Blessings

These past two months have been difficult, with the death of a mom from our school who I consider a friend. As her health quickly declined mid-May, I became acquainted with a new song by Laura Story, titled Blessings. God has used this song during the last six weeks to minister to me and others who loved Kristi. When I heard that Laura Story would be coming to the Big Ticket Festival (a large, outdoor Christian music festival), I knew I had to attend and hear her perform this song in person.

I made it to the festival yesterday, although I was a little nervous after hearing reports of muddy conditions causing cars to get stuck the previous night. Since I was going by myself, I really didn't want to deal with a stuck car (especially a new car). The first blessing of the day was the fact that they moved most of the parking to the local airport lot and provided shuttles to the festival, so my car was fine. I was also blessed by the songs of many Christian artists singing songs I've heard on the radio and some new songs as well. This was a bonus for me because I was there primarily for Laura Story. It's an amazing experience to be in a crowd of thousands of people all singing praise to God together outdoors. But the biggest blessing for me to was to hear Laura Story relate the history of her song and sing it. As she began, tears began to roll down my face along with a whispered reminder that God is in control and has a plan for each one of us. I was further blessed by the opportunity to share with Laura afterwards how her song has ministered to me and others in my school community. (Of course I got teary again, so I'm not looking real great in the photo, but that's real life.)

This song is a good reminder that the difficult times in our lives, when we don't understand what God is doing (or allowing), bring us closer to Him. And whatever it takes to bring us to a deeper dependence on God can become a blessing.

Time Travel

Do you recognize any of these? They are symbols of my past, my childhood back in the 70s. For all of you youngsters, they're called records. Old-fashioned, large CDs that played on a turntable. Just looking at these album covers brings back memories. I've kept a box of my old records in my basement because, being the sentimental person I am, I can't throw anything away. And, I've secretly hoped I would one day find a way to play them again.

My dad also has a bunch of old records; in fact, he has more than I do. And he's also somewhat sentimental about his things. So, while doing my Christmas shopping online last December, when I discovered this nifty little box that converts old vinyl records to the computer and CDs, I found the perfect Christmas present for my dad (and me too)!

We spent several weekends this past winter and spring sorting through records together, deciding which ones we wanted to add to our iTunes files or make CDs of, and then playing them on his old turntable with the converter box hooked up.

The only negative part is that it takes quite a bit of time. You have to listen to each record and push a button for each new song in order to have each song recorded separately. So someone needs to sit at the computer and listen to the entire record. That was part of my Christmas gift to my dad. I showed him how to work the converter, but his main job was to tell me which records he wanted, and I did the recording part. The bonus for me was that I converted my records in between doing his. It was also fun to hear these old records again and be instantly transported back in time - same feelings, same occasional scratches on the vinyl, now preserved in iTunes!

And when we finished converting, we actually got rid of the old records. Well, almost all of them. That's really hard to do, for savers like us. But my mom was very relieved. (I still have a small pile to work on during the summer.)

It was so much fun spending time with and reminiscing with my dad. We talked about various musical styles and why we liked them, we looked online to see what became of some of the old recording artists, and we recalled how certain songs reminded us of specific times in our life. I enjoyed spending this time with my dad and hearing about his childhood and teen years.

Wrestling

I’ve been wrestling with God lately. Not literally, of course, but intense just the same. I often pray as I’m walking my dog, and my prayers during the last month have been filled with questions, anger, frustration, and even doubts. They usually end with tears (which can be embarrassing when you’re out for a walk). I just don’t understand. How can it be God’s will that a young mother of three lose her battle with cancer? How can God’s plan be that her consistent testimony of His presence and strength throughout this four-year struggle result in her death? So many people have been encouraged in their family’s journey that I was sure God would heal her. Even as she rested in Hospice House, I prayed for the miraculous healing that I know God was able to provide. I realize many others battle with cancer, but this one hits close to home. I know this family. I’ve had two of their three children in my class at school and have come to love them all dearly. I’ve questioned God’s goodness, His plan, and even His existence at all. My head believes, but my heart finds it hard.

And then I was reminded of God’s promises by the faith writings of my second graders at the end of the year.

• “God listens to me. God always keeps his promises. God keeps creating new life. God loves me and cares for me. God helps me through hard times.”
• “I believe that God is faithful. And he loves me and answers my prayers. He keeps me safe.”
• “I believe that Jesus is everywhere and that he loves me.”
• “I believe that Jesus died for me. He always keeps his promises. He helps me up when I fall. He comforts me through hard times. He answers my prayers.”
• “Jesus died for me because he forgave my sins. So he was crucified for me. I can’t prove it but I know it’s true. Nothing will make me turn away from God, not even for a million dollars.”

I always love reading these year-end writings of my students. But this year they provide a renewed assurance for me. They remind me of God’s love and faithfulness, even in the difficult and “un-understandable” times of life. I’m glad I teach in a school where I can help instill in my students this trust in God’s love and care. I’m thankful that, even in my adult questions and doubt, God still loves me and provides the reminders that He is real and is always with us. I’m grateful that my heart is slowly coming back in tune with my head knowledge.